Saturday, March 29, 2008


Dear Dazzy,

Rain again today. Garden plans will just have to wait. I am procrastingating the cleaning of the house, LOL, and so far I am doing a really good job. :P

I went to a bridal shower today. Mikey's will be best man(!) at Brian's wedding in May, and they invited Ash and I to the shower.
Ash had dance rehearsals/school etc, so I went.
I did better than I thought I would, and only lost a tear or two once I was in the car driving home.
Not too shabby, right honey?

I mean, the last shower I attended was my own, so this was a big step.
It was fine. Well,ok not fine, but tolerable.

This kind of ritual always has me rummaging around in our past.
I had two wedding showers in Tx; one at work and one at Kathy's.
Both were surreal in the fact that they were for me-for us-and I remember thinking "Wow, it's really happening, we are finally going to be together in the same place!"

We would finally be able to look at the same stars at the same time...

So I had all that running through my head this morning at ten o'clock.
Thank goodness they had Mimosa'a at the buffet table. :P

They were done by 12:30, I said my goodbyes,ran home to walk Boomer J, and then I was on my way to my fun destination-Genroku and a small band of Aussie ex-pats!
We met for lunch and I shared with them the wisdom of Genroku-great food, better prices. We had a quiet kind of fun, and talked easily. They would have really like you babe. I mean they do, posthumously, but, well, you know what I mean.

My next stop was the Plant Lady. I never remember the real name of the place; to Kath and you an me she's just the plant lady!
Super quality plants and some weird/different itens as well; we get all our annuals there. It was sad-both you and Kath are in different places (yours, much more distant) and I did my plant buying alone this year.

Another hurdle cleared.

I stopped in to see Barb really quickly on the way home from the PL, and all in all you can see I had quite the social Saturday.

Mikey and I are just relaxing tonight after being out and about for two days, and I swear I am getting up early and clearing out the chores before noon, so I can hopefully plant what I brought home today.

I remember being in that knife-in-the-heart pain induced fog last May and the only thing I wanted to do was plant my annual flowers in my pots out front. I think that waiting for the new plants to grow was a way, subconsiously, of my mind telling my heart and soul that it would be OK to go on, to grow-even to bloom-without you at my side.

Now another growing season is presenting itself, and before I know it, I will be saying, " He died a year ago..."

And still I cry, still I wish, still I hope-for a life that has meaning and love and happiness. For the growth that comes with new beginnings.

Just like my new seeds that I will be planting tomorrow.

Love you, Dazzy. Always.
Kisses, Wifey.

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