Friday, April 25, 2008

Anzac Day-YOUR memorial day as well...

Dear Dazzy,

Today marks one year from you memorial service.
It is also Anzac Day in Oz.
At the time, I was just waiting long enough for Andrew and Trish and Steve to arrive so we could celebrate your life and yoiur passing-I really was not aware of the signifigance of the date when we booked for Wednesday the 25th at 7 PM.

We had such an untraditional service that people STILL talk to me about it-how it was so you, how it was more authentic than any church-led service could have ver been-and I will never forget Mikey and Dave's Jim Beam run to the Colony ( b/c we live in a dry town)Liquor Store, LOL.

Mikey's band learned "Home Among The Gum Trees," an oldie that you used to sing when we worked around the that goofy, silly, play-around voice that you would use.

It is not shocking to me that I do not feel well today-chills, sinus, allergies, the works. I am shocked that I haven't really been sick in a very long time! How I missed it all within the confines of my grief I will never know.

I was supposed to meet the Aussie mob for dinner at Outback tonight-but I called them and cancelled once I made it through the school day using a box of kleenex and countless ibuprofin. I am updating here early and then off to bed. UGH. Hate being sick...and no one is here to buy me sick pressies( The Star Magazine, my fave choccies, flowers...)so I bought my own small bunch of roses on the way home along with chicken stock( couldn't remember if I had some home or not; of course I did, lol)and some blackberries.If I could actually taste anything, I would say YUM.

Speaking of school, we had the water off for hours after a pipe burst in the wall by the 8th grade bathrooms. It was kind of funny and kind of a pain since we were all displaced for most of the day-and for some of my students who don't deal well with change, well, let's just say I am happy it was a Friday.

So now I am sitting here in a quiet houise-which doesn't upset me anymore. I like the solitude, I embrace it; I know I can pick up the phone and call a zillion different people if I neede to-but I am O.K. as is.

Another milestone, eh, babe?

So the garden is doing well, Ashley got a scholarship from the UNT Dance Dept-
"Go SMASHLEY, well done!" I can hear your voice saying it, LOL, Mike is pumped about Italia-we are all finding that mythical place called the "New Normal" in our lives.

Me included.

I have lost almost ten pounds( YEA ME)from the widda weight I put on while grieving, and I feel empowered about my health choices once again.
I am returing to finish my Master's degree this fall and I am booking my Oz ticket ASAP.
I know it will be very bittersweet, but I am hoping my Oz trip will cememnt your friend's lives with mine forever. I'd hate to lose them as well after losing you, honey.

So, after all these Fridays that have sucked the marrow from the etherial bones of my soul, here I am looking forward-ahead, to the future-instead of behind me at life's door that had slammed shut so apruptly.

Progress, babe, progress. I know you are proud.

I know it.

Off for more kleenex and doggie cuddles-

Love you Dazzy. Always.
Kisses, Wifey.

No comments: