So, after a blowout on the Sebring, two new tires, a red-light ticket( ME????) and a huge "something" bite on my ankle that if it gets any bigger I will have to name,
I was happy to have a quiet night Tuesday.
I did spend a good portion of it on the phone, but you know that is not ever a hardship for me. :)
So here we are in the midst of that last week before you and I move into year TWO.
This timeline boggles at its complexity; I have said it many, many times-it feels like both a lifetime ago and just yesterday since you and I cuddled up on the sofa to watch COPS or Family Guy or any myriad of movies we owned/rented/downloaded.
Didn't you just leave a "G'day, Gorgeous" on my phone?
Didn't we just laugh together for the billionth time over something stupid and goofy that Rangie, we or the kids did?
I am sure it was less than 24 hours ago that I called and left you a message at work about that Friday night (a year ago!) and what/where you felt like eating; which movie was your pick to go see; what home improvement project we would do next-all the fun things we would gab about.
T minus 5...you would laugh about that reference, re: our Star Trek/Star Wars thing; and our nighttime sky star wishes. I miss that heaps, babe. Always will, too.
However, as much as I still miss all those things, I have made peace with the fact that you and I will not be together in the same physicality for quite some time. I am really OK with it finally, and I am starting to look forward to the future instead of looking only to the memories of the past.
Day by day, moment by moment, slowly but surely, I am building a new normal. I am great some days, awful others, but all told I have far more good days than bad now. I am happy about that-and you know , babe, it's been far too long since I could use the word happy in a sentence that was connected to moi.
I will go back to finish my master's degree in the fall. I will be visiting Oz in June and settling some things over there with regard to your estate.
I have finally gotten a handle on the weight thingy! I am planning again-and while I may never have Pollyanna as a middle name anymore, lol, I know I can find joy once again in my life. I am weirdly certain of it. I can hear it fluttering around, like the wings of a dragonfly-deceptively delicate yet capable of flight.
Leonardo Davinci once said,
" Once you have tasted flight,
you will forever walk the earth
with your eyes turned skyward,
for there you have been,
Love you, Dazzy. Always.