Carrying the Torch

Dear Dazzy,

How Alanis Morisette got inside my head is a mystery to me, babe-but if I could have written you a song today, my sweet Dazzles, this would have been it-it is exactly how I feel.
Exactly how our life was.
Exactly the way I miss you so.
"Laying my torch down for you-" exactly like the song says.



Torch Lyrics:

I miss your smell and your style and your pure abiding way
Miss your approach to life and your body in my bed
Miss your take on anything and the music you would play
Miss cracking up and wrestling and our debriefs at end of day

These are things that I miss
These are not times for the weak of heart
These are the days of raw despondence
I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this

I miss your neck and your gait and your sharing what you write
Miss you walking through the front door documentaries in your hand
Miss traveling our traveling and your fun and charming friends
Miss our getaways
And to watch you love my dogs

These are things that I miss
These are not times for the weak of heart
These are the days of raw despondence
I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this

One step one prayer I soldier on, simulating moving on

I miss your warmth and the thought of us bringing up the kids
And the part of you that walks with your stick-tied handkerchief

These are things that I miss
These are not times for the weak of heart
These are the days of raw despondence
I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this

These are things that I miss
These are not times for the weak of heart
These are the days of raw despondence
I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this

I know it's because I went to see Smash perform today that my emotions are very near the surface. I know it's because I am so very aware that you aren't in the chair next to me; that you aren't taking pictures of all of us, that I'll be driving home to an empty house...damn.

Missing you today big time, honey.

Love you, Dazzy. Always.
Kisses, Wifey