Daz Birthday #44

Dear Dazzy,

Today-September 28th-is/was/will always (to me, anyway) be your birthday. You would be turning 44. I would be razzing you about your hair treatments, LOL, and your age-hurtling toward 50, :P as we used to say.

You would say, "Doesn't matter, Princess-I'll always be younger and PRETTIER than you!" and we would collapse with fits of laughing, red faced and all by the time we were done.

I don't know if anyone in your life except for your dearest of friends knew the way we gave each other crap like that and how we both always laughed because we always, always, always knew that it was just snarky fun-not intended to snidely knock the other off their ego or anything like that.

To others it may have smacked of cynicism, but we knew better. We really loved one another, and because we did, it gave us a freedom in our lives that many people never get to experience.

Thanks for that babe.

Thank you for the million other things you did for me and the kids in the name of love over the years, Dazzy. We were so lucky to have one another.

I wish I could write "Happy" next to "Birthday" for you on a card this year, but of course I can't. It is not happy anywhere today-not for our friends, not for me, not for the kids-not for anyone who knew you and loved you or had been loved by you.

Rangie still sleeps under your desk.

Boomer...well, Boomie channels your inner larrikin spirit, that's for sure!

Mikey notices funny things on TV or the internet and says, "I know Daz would have liked this-"

Smash ponders if you knew how much she thought of you, knowing how you took care of me-and how happy you made me.

And I still sleep in an empty bed, wondering why the only man I ever truly loved isn't here next to me anymore.

On your birthday, I will light a candle for you, to remind us of your glowing spirit.

We'll have a toast, and I'll say out loud how grateful I am that you are-and always will be- the love of my life, the man of my dreams, and the joy in my heart.

We will laugh a bit and cry a bit more, but most of all- even through our sadness-we will remember you.

Forever.

Love you Dazzy. Always.


Birthday Kisses, Wifey.