Sunday, November 23, 2008

Twilight Mania

Dear Dazzy,
The frame on the right is one that Smashers made for a friend for
X-mas-in honor of their fandom for Edward, the vampire in Twilight who has skin that "sparkles and dazzles, " LOL
Of course when I see or here the word "dazzle," I think of YOU!
(Daz, Dazzy, Dazzles, you were called everything but your given name, Daryl, sometimes, LOL, but it was so-YOU)

Twilight, in a nutshell, is a quartet of books-so far-written about very 21st century type vampires and the people who fall in love with them :P

You would have loved the story line, and even though it's now a chick-flick, I have no doubt we would have gone to see it together. It's a movie that everyone is going to see-it will have that cult following of a Star Wars or a Star Trek as the books are made into movies; it did $70 million plus ( yes, honey USD!) in its opening weekend!

The woman who wrote this story has a pretty decent way with words. There are some very good quotes from the characters that can be applicable to my life right now, and this may just be my favorite-

"Time passes.
Even when it seems impossible.
Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise.
It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does.
Even for me."

Even for me. Indeed.

When I look at the calendar and think that it has been 19 months since that awful day that turned our life together into dust, I realize that this is truly how time passes when one is drowning in grief-unevenly, in sharp lurches forward and boring-beyond-measure lulls, but
pass, it does.

When W.H. Auden wrote "Funeral Blues," he starts with the line,
"Stop all the clocks, block out the sun..."

He knew all about those lurches and lulls, didn't he? He didn't want to be able to measure time anymore, because without the love of his life it didn't really matter.

I understand his despair. I live it every day. I don't want to see time as the enemy, however, because it really isn't. It doesn't matter, really, how much time we had together; what matters is how we loved each other so.

In that vein, I'd like to revere the time I still have on this Earth and not look for it to pass quickly; I'd like to savor all the days I may have left and still call them my own. Ok, mine and the kids' and the dogs', LOL.

This is quite a departure from this time last year, and I am grateful to be able to realize that fact in itself. The long climb out of that hideous black hole of grief has begun, hasn't it honey?

Here's to days filled with peace and contentment, for even just a moment or two, and to the slowing of time's breath back to a normal and regular pace once again.

Love you Dazzy. Always.
Kisses, Wifey

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