Tuesday, May 29, 2007


Dear Dazzy,

Well, my birthday officially arrives at 1:38 tonight, according to Jim, the astro guy.
I went to see him today and hear what he had to say-it's a fun outing that I take with a grain of salt, you know, but I went because I will take ANY answers people can give me regarding you leaving this earth so suddenly.
I know how and why people get sucked into the whole medium thing-I would do it in a heartbeat if I thought it was all on the level. What I wouldn't give to have another conversation with you! I think that we, as humans, don't know everything there is to know, so I am reserving judgment on what is legit or not out there in the universe.

Jim told me I was in the throes of upheaval. Big surprise. He also told me that my career/job was going to be completely different and that I would MOVE-far away-in the next few years! He said by age 53, I will have had the major shift happen and my whole life will be different.

Well of COURSE it will be different! I will not have you, honey, to be my own lil cheerleader in the game of our lives. You may be physically gone, my handsome hubby, but you will never be forgotten.


He also told me your aura is still with me-well, we were so intertwined I find that plausible-and that you came into my life to teach me about feelings. Hmmm, I'm not so sure about that.
If you were here to fulfill something in MY life, then what was my purpose in yours?
I thought it was all about love. :):)

All in all it was not the worst day of my life. The kids got me a pressie, cake,and cards.
I told them I didn't want anything, but I am secretly happy they ignored me.
I saw everyone at Wachovia today when I went in to do some banking, and they all still miss you every day, sweets. Just like the kids and I do.

Oh, and don't forget Rangie!
He still won't sleep on your side of the bed. :(

I have heaps of paperwork still and so much of your stuff to sort, organize, donate, etc.
I know I can take my time, but I am not sure if I will ever be OK doing that all in my lifetime. How can I get rid of any of your stuff? It's not right. I know, intellectually, that it is not YOU, it just your stuff, but still...

I will always love you, Dazzles. You made my heart sing every day we were together.
I hope that one day I will get to see you again-but I am doubtful of that. With any luck, I'll be wrong-won't be the first time eh?-and we will both be able to smile again.

G'night honey. Here's to better days ahead.

No comments: