Monday, May 28, 2007
Today has been the most awful day in quite a while. I can't stop crying. Everywhere I look "you" are here- in our house, the car, the shopping center, everyplace I go. The enormity of your absence is starting to take hold of me, and I am so debilitatingly sad. I want to go to sleep and wake up in six months so I can pass the saddest days that loom in front of me.
The kids and I went to the movies-to see The Valet, French and funny-and then to the sandwich shop. I was with you the last time I went to both places. I cried all the way home. I wonder if the hurt I feel will ever go away. I wonder how on earth that could happen. I know I will never love anyone again like this. I know it. I know that my life is forever changed, and I don't want it changed! I want you back honey, every single second of every day.
I downloaded all the pics that were in the camera, and this one was there. You and Mikey and Rangie-my boys, as I used to call you when you all sat on the couch, watching the History channel together...my boys.
This is too hard. Much too hard. I have to go now, honey. I love you, and even just writing those words hurts tonight.