Friday, May 11

Dear Dazzy,

Wow.
Another Friday.
I look at the clock and think it's 2:30; three weeks ago you were at home, with the computer guy, fixing our "technical difficulties," as you would call them.

Three weeks ago, I still lived in the land of possibility, ripe with the fruit
of a wonderful future.

Three weeks ago, we were making plans for working around the house and for the rest of that weekend, planning a romantic little Saturday night with just the two of us.

As one of your fave Southpark guys, Cartman, would say-GODDAMNIT!

Anyway, today I am cleaning up the flotsam and jetsam of my teaching life this past year, which includes my email, and when I opened this attachment I just smiled that sad, wistful smile of "awww, I love you but I you can't be here anymore."

I like this photo because it is so you, so Dazzy-happy, smiling, full of shits and giggles; that cheeky grin telling it all and then some. It's the smile you used to charm your way out of any situation, the smile that won hearts and made friends. It's that smile you smiled just for me.

I haven't smiled in a long time. Three weeks, to be exact.