Friday, May 25, 2007


Dear Dazzy,
This week Friday was a little different, seeing as we are out of school for the summer-I came in and out during the arvo and it didn't bother me that you were not here until later tonight. Kathy's at a movie down Austin way, the kids are going out...I am alone.

Really alone.

That reality of you not coming in the door anymore, babe, well, that is the worst part of my day. It rears its ugly head now and again, and I attempt to put it in its place-wherever I can shove it-but most times I fail, and I have to cry it out.

I can call some people and rustle up a movie junket, but it is pouring rain-as it has been all day, but that's really a good thing for our lakes/grass/etc.

As Stevie Ray once sang, even the sky is cryin'.

I did make a few purchases today-new lamps and a side table for the bedroom; I think shaking it up just a bit will maybe help me live in the house without it being like time stood still the day you died.

Of course for me, Dazzles, it did, and it hasn't moved forward very much emotionally.
I hope to hell it speeds up a bit.

Anyway, because we have had so much rain, today we had DUCKS come to the house!
They were across the street, and I know they felt your energy, honey, the way you attract animals and small kids, lol. They waddled over and I put some bird seed out for them- sunflower seeds, etc.

They hung around a long time.
I took their pix-you would have been keen to see it all.

They were a lovey-dovey pair-the brightly colored show-off male, the plainer but still pretty female-just like us! :)

It gave me a bit of wistful reflection. I guess that's a good thing these days.

I am off now to make a HUGE list of what I would like to accomplish this summer, including writing about YOU, continuing my Masters classes, going to Yoga, playing a bit of violin and doing some home reno's. I will be filling my days with flotsam and jetsam, when all I really want to do is go back in time and kiss your lips and hear you whisper my name while we snuggle up in the wee hours of the night, wrapped in that velvety blanket of unconditional, passionate love.

Five weeks have gone by since you have passed on , honey.
Five weeks ago my world came crashing in on me , and I am slowly clawing my way out of the rubble. I don't think I will see the light of day for some time.

Night, babe. Kisses,


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