Saturday, July 14, 2007

Movie for One

Dear Dazzy,

Ahh, behold the dreaded Sat-day night. I did heaps around the house today and tomorrow I am off to visit KathUSA for three days. I think that's about all I can take right now being away from our house. I am at peace there, even with all the drama of our last three months without you babe. It's our-my?-our-home.

Anyway I was not going to sit around tonight, and I called EVERYONE I knew-some had plans, some weren't home, and Ash was off to a wedding(!) and Mikey was at Matt's I went to the Angelika.


There is a word worse than death, eh?

ME! The queen of "c'mon let's everyone go and have a party after, " lol, just like you babe.

I love that theatre and I have been there so many times-with you, without you, with various friends and family-that I was comfy there. I hated passing all the couples sitting at the cafes and whatnot listening to the band playing outdoors by the park area.

You know , the whole life is not fair deal. :( I got over that quicker than I hoped I would and went inside. I did wait till the trailers started, lol.

"Introducing the Dwights" was set in Sydney-so how could I NOT go? LOL The house they filmed a lot in took me aback-it has the pocket doors and the fake leadlights and that Barbie sized stove just like 2nd Ave does! I teared up a bit but it was lovely to hear lots of Aussie accents saying "G'day" and "she'll be right" and all that jazz. I don't know SYD as well as MEL, but the neighborhoods looked so familiar-the design is all over Oz I guess-that it made me homesick for Oz! :P

So I ventured out tonight and found that I still hate doing stuff alone.
It made me miss you and think that while life may have something more in store for me, it's so sad that your time was through here, especially your time with me.

You did pack a hellofa lot of living into your 42 and a half years, honey, that's for sure.
That spirit is what made me go to the movies tonight in the first place-your go for it attitude and your I don't give a rat's arse what anyone thinks ideals are what propelled me out the door and into my fave movie theatre.

Thank you honey. You rock! I will need heaps more of that attitude in the days to come; to do all the stuff that has to be done in life-and now I have to do it all by myself. Hideous thought eh?

Tomorrow I am off to see Kath. It will be a good few days. In a month, school starts again. My time will be full of major and minor time absorbers. It doesn't matter much what I do, I will still miss you no matter what my daily life consists of.

I know that in time I will be able to put the hurt away little by little, but your passing is like having a searing brand that says Daryl slowly burned into the middle of my heart.
It 's hot enough to damage some of the cells forever, but not pervasive enough to kill the host.
It leaves an indelible imprint in the flesh until the host ceases to exist.

In time, it builds up scar tissue and the host doesn't feel it anymore. It's just there. Of course branding is used to identify what belongs to whom; it's no secret that I am yours, babe, until the end of my days.

It's late now. Bedtime for me and Boomer and Rangie.
Thanks again for the confidence booster tonight, hon.
Love you Dazzles- Always.

Kisses, Wifey

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