Saturday, August 25, 2007
Back to School
Honey! I found all the vids of you doing your car commercials back when you had your first job in the USA-selling cars! You did that for a bit then went on to a very successful career at a top notch bank where you bacame an Officer and were poised to make VP shortly. I am so sad that you never had the chance to keep moving up the ladder at Wachovia; you two big "W's" were an awesome fit. I have triend to upload it here, but the files are too big-not sure how to make em smaller, LOL, but I will see what I can do...
Anyway, I found a floppy disk(!) with pix on it today that was in the box with all the picture frames. Not sure WHY it was in there, but I like to think of it as lil pressies you sent me. Silly, I know, but sometimes it helps me get through the day, ya know? I was getting a few frames for the kids to take back to UNT with them. They took Boomer and Ranger pix and one of all of us from Disneyland when we had our family face paint thingy. That was sooooooooooooooooo much fun! What a blast we had on that vacation.
Thank the universe for long-term memory. :)
Yes, the kids went back up to college life today. It was sad to see them go off-we were a cocoon of grief and emotions this whole summer together, and I will always be grateful that they wanted to come home and be with me-with us-during the hideous affair of your untimely death. We have come through the worst of it-I think and hope-and can see that even though our lives stopped four months ago, life does indeed go on.It's like running after a bus or train that has started moving; one can catch it it one runs fast enough and applies the law of physics precisely.
Time will tell if we have all managed to do that or not.
I walked Boomie and Rangie together by myself tonight-no small feat there let me tell ya-but it looks like we have a system in place that will work. Both dogs are not happy that there are no kids here to play with-and I have to say, so am I.
When the twins first went off to college, you and I were doing the happy dance-an empty nest AND two people who wanted to be together! I know it doesn't always happen that way, an I am forever grateful that we had a whole year of "couple time" all the time the kids were away. It was grand having drinks on a Friday night with you, putting music on and lighting the fireplace, while we enjoyed each others company.
Grand and then some.
School starts in earnest on Monday-teachers have been back for a week, though.
I'm going to have a hard time getting through my first day without flowers and email from you, honey. I may have to buy some myself; my desk will just NOT look right without a bouquet from my Awesome Aussie.
I realized long ago that you are the sweetest man I will ever, ever, know.
I also have a bad sore throat and yukky gunk and all that crap-frankly I am surprised that I haven't keeled over before this given the stress of late.
Sucks being sick all alone. Yes, I am being all sooky-lala, LOL, I know, but it's just another realization of how much I miss you and how much joy you brought to my life-you always did take very good care of me honey, sick or not.
Thanks for that babe. I am missing that most of all right now.
So now the Melyork is very quiet, save for the TV in the other room. Boomie is passed out on the bed after our long walk and Rangie is at my feet while I type.
I filled my day with chores and cleaning and helping kids pack and talking to your friends and mine and gardening and the paper( you know, read and do crosswords).
Sound busy, and it was; but through it all is the undercurrent of the hollowness of my life as it is without your physical presense. I know your love still lives in my heart, but it is just so awfully lonely without you here, honey.
Alone I can do-but lonely may take a very long while to get used to.
Missing you heaps today-