Sunday, September 02, 2007

Dazzy Car Dag

Dear Dazzy, WOOHOO! I finally worked out how to post vidoes! I hope many of our friends and family who read this blog will not be too sad when they see your smile, hear your voice, and watch you interact in our "old life."

I find it comforting most days. The terrible, shocking loss of such a good man in not something I am trying to escape-would if I could-but when I want to suspend time, and go back to those days almost five months ago when life held promise for us and our family, I sometimes go through the vids you have done on the computer. I get a Corona, sit and watch, have a good cry, and then think of reasons why I should still live life in a forward motion. Like today.

I have been hacking around with the vid posting glitches and finally got it to do what I wanted it to do. I learned a lot of cpu things from you, honwy-thanks so much for that! Mostly it is just my pitbull-ed-ness ( LOL) that had me finish what I started and not give up until I got my way.

I have that kind of drive when it comes to things I really believe in. You had it as well, Dazzy, which is whay we made such a good pair. :)

So in the middle of a three day weekend, I thought I would post if I could get that video fixed and I will add more as I can.

Here's a rundown of out Labor Day goings on:

Freaked out a bit on Friday after school when I looked at the clock and saw 3:52pm. The last time anyone spoke to you , you had called the bank to say you didn't feel well and were not coming back in after meeting the Verizon guy at home. ML got the call. I was leaving you a message at work at that same exact time, because I had thought you would have gone back by then. Little did I know how awful Friday arvo would turn out.

So I was filing some work when I glanced at the clock on my file tower. Had a bit of a stunned realization and a bit of a cry. Cried drivng home about half the way, then got myself settled.

Came home to Mikey and Ashley followed later on-a good Friday night after all. Boomie was SO excited to see both kids that he squealed like a pig! VERY funny, let me tell ya.

Sat-day Walked both dogs, read, cleaned house etc. Regular stuff.


Satday night went out with ML from the big W Bank and we saw a murder-mystery play set in the 1940's. Cute. Then went to live music place and had desserts; got home at 1 a.m. ML was a widow a long time ago and it's always good to hear her perspective on things. She still misses ya heaps babe-like we all do, eh?

Sunday we had take-out for breaky from IHOP-I still can't go in and sit down in the place; it's too hard. How many life plans did we make in that place at "our" booth, eh babe? I will update this post later-figured it was good to start and I can add as I go along.

More later-

This arvo saw the kids and me taking dogs to the dogpark; we attempted to tire the old Boomster out-HAHAHA-then home for dog baths and nail grooming. I always use Ash to help me do this stuff-she's really pretty good at it. Mikey is the go-to guy for opening the back door so we can run out quicly with wet dogs, LOL

We had Jackson over for his b-day cake# 85! He does not look well, He looks old. My dad, the guy who flew planes and built his own boat; who could drink people way under the table back in the day; the guy who just never got my Mom on any level- is starting to fade. I think he nay be getting ready to say, "I'm finished".

Makes me want to puke to think of all the life that is slowly ending around me.

Time passes and things change-all the time. Guaranteed. Even though I know that, I don;t want to embrace it. I want my old, happy life back. The one that I thought I would have for a few more decades. Of course I know the paradox that is-I can never have what I once had. Never.

Believe it or not, sweets, today was an OK day. Not stellar, not great, not even mediocre-just OK.

I'll take it for now, because frankly it's the best I can do.
Wish you were here babe.Damn.
I wish, I wish, I wish...:(

Love you, honey. Always. And more!
Kisses, Wifey

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