Monday, September 03, 2007

Labor Day

Dear Dazzy,

Well, the kids just left to go back to their apt-school re-starts tomorrow for all of us. Mikey fertilized the front yard-yes, honey, M-I-K-E-Y-, you would be so proud of him the way he helped out today! Ash too...I don't have to ask her as much, LOL but they were both a big help this weekend.

We put up the stainless steel piece behind the stove-tada!
Another finishing touch in the kitchens of the ole MelYork.
It looks grand, honey. You'd love it.
I am making a list again of the lil things that need to be finished up around here-and with luck( whats that again?) I'll be done by the end of winter.

I had a small meltdown when I was at the grocery store-like I do, those places are my new, fresh hell-trying to buy sugar! How stupid is that? I haven't had to buy sugar since the week before you left this earth, babe.


It's weird to realize how much tea/coffe we have not shared these part four and a half months. Miss that terribly , honey.

So food shopping was cut right short and I'll go try it again tomorrow after school.
Not try, DO. Inside joke there babe eh? My Star Wars geek...:P

So all in all a fun weekend with friends, family, and enough downtime to feel almost peaceful.The crying strikes at odd times over odd things, but it is getting more manageable. Good thing. I am pretty sick and tired of bawling my eyes out.

I am ready for something that remotely resembles happy.

But with Spetember here-and all our "firsts" coming up, along with your Birthday-eeek. I won't go there tonight. Let's just leave it at a fun holiday weekend wherein I didn't give in to the grief, I fought it tooth and nail.

I believe I am the victor today.

We'll see about tomorrow when that arrives.

No matter what, it won't beat me, this bone-crushing grief.
It may slow me down a bit, might make me stumble, fall flat on my face-but I will NOTgive in to the many-headed, empty hearted beast that it shows itself to be.

I just won't. Somewhere I know you are smiling at my anger, honey, knowing that it will save me in the end...

Love you Dazzles. Heaps!
Missing you always-
Kisses, Wifey :)

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