Tuesday, December 11, 2007
It's like the changing weather...
I have figured out what grief truly is-it's just like the crazy weather in Tx or MEL :)
We have had highs and lows all over the place; bad ice storms just to the north of us( eeek) and now rain for two solid days.
Its TAKS practice this week at WMS-boring stuff. It was TAKS week the Friday you passed away-I remember thinking how glad I was to have that week over and done with last April, and how I couldn't wait to get home and start the weekend!
Not sure I will be able to work well when we do it again next April-but I'm not sure I won't either...that will be one of those last minute decisions thingys- glad I don't have to make it now.
This time last year we were shopping for our adopt a family chrissie prezzies. You went with me to drop them off and we had the biggest grins on our faces after delivering stuff to a needy family-you were always so happy to do things for others. Another reason we all liked ya babe :)
I am missing you heaps, but that goes without saying. I am bored and lonely some days and Ok and almost happy others. I have an outlook that includes a future-though it is NOT the one I wanted originally( one without you? never!), I don't have too much choice, so I will take it.
So I guess that makes me as stable as the weather.
I made more treats tonight to take to work tomorrow. Now the kitchen is a wreck again. I get so friggin' tired of doing all this crap by myself-the raking, the home maintenence, the car upkeep, the cleaning/cooking/bills cha-cha-cha.
I guess I still haven't found my internal motivational diva. She's in ther somewhere-I know because she used to torment you at times :P
I am sure she will surface again, but not sure when.
I am also sure it will involve sunshine and long days off :)
You know, honey, for someone who lives by lists and loves a good routine, I just can't get it together some days. I am just like mother nature right now-cantakerous, unpredictible, weepy one day and sunny the next. Hot and cold and temestuous and calm, all at once.
It's quite the wild ride.
Speaking of wild rides, the travel channel had a thing on Disneyworld tonight.
They were showing how the Animal Kingdom was imagined, built, etc.
We had such a blast there!
Even when you wanted to go on rides and were pissed off about waiting/crowds/time etc, LOL you were such a big baby about it all-it still makes me laugh.
We had a week of great family fun-and the pictures to prove it.
It was the week you gave me my blue aquamarine earrings, because my birthday fell smack in the middle of the week we did vacation that year.
We ate lobster near the pool and you gave me my prezzie after dinner :)
Then we went out to the creek/bog area next to the hotel and FREAKED when we heard thrashing in the water! I am sure it was only a dog...but we were convinced at the time that it was an alligator, :P
We went back to the hotel quickly and hit the hot tub with a few drinks-it was one of the most fun nights you and I had that year; and honey we had plenty eh?
I am happy for those kind of memories that warm me on a chilly, rainy Texas night.
I just wish there would have been more memories for us to make, babe.
For that, I am sad.
Love you, Dazzles. Always.