Wednesday, January 16, 2008


Dear Dazzy,

Hard to believe that that grief wave I was riding all through the holidays has finally broken a bit.

Jeeze! I though it would NEVER leave!

I went to Pilates last night and loved it.

I'll be going twice a week ASAP.

Came home tonight and walked Boomie and Range and enjoyed the last of the January thaw; it will get colder tomorrow and we'll be in our "normal" range for winter.
Here's a sunrise from the other day-pretty, isnt it? Gives me hope that spring is coming.

I like the warmer temps...
Tonight, after I spent time raking/watering/ pruning the front yard flowers and walking the doggies, of course, I came in and decided to cook.

Really cook, ya know babe?

I made mushrooms and onions- like I used to do for us. With heaps of garlic!

Added in chicken breasts with that mango habenjero sauce-YUM.

It was sad that I was eating alone-ok, not totally alone since I was being stared down by the doggies, both of them hoping for a slip of my fork-and it slowly dawned on me that I haven't made that combo of veggies since you left for that bigger piece of the sky.

I didn't cry about it; it was simply one more of those zillion times a day where I think,
"Damn, I wish you were here, honey." :(

After eating I flipped the TV on.
Randomly flipping through via the remote, the first channel I hit is the Travel channel-showcasing ULURU and the Great Barrier Reef , then an Outback Steakhouse commercial
("... life will still be there tomorrow..." the announcer voice sings-um, sadly, sometimes that's a negatory) and on G4( the geek channel-one of our faves 'cause they run Star Trek all the time, lol) they had the interview with that Cory kid from Melbourne who had the wild party and has no remorse about it. He's actually planning another!

Hahahahaha, that would so have been you back in the day, my sweet!
OK, so too much Oz in my face on the TV-so I sign on and clear out some emails....first up is one from World Market with their sale on Aussie Wine...

Ok, babe, I get it-you are hovering around me today for whatever reason.

Makes me restless to know you are both so close and so far.
I got up from the computer and go to check on Boomer-he's like a two year old; when it's too quiet you have to go and see what's up-and he's sprawled out all akimbo, sleeping on our bed.

As I passed under the light, it flickered twice-weird.
I am now done watching Idol and Runway( LOVE TiVO )and getting my crap together for the AM routine because the bed is calling. After the blog, of course.
I wonder how long I can keep telling myself that all this biding my time is a good thing?
That making food for one or thinking about you all day or comparing how my life is now in relation to how damn happy it was when you were really here by my side-in all ways, in all things, in all times-that it's a time to be still and not the terminal blues.

I wonder.
So I think all the Aussie stuff was a way to get my attention today-maybe it was a "thumbs up" from you babe, eh? For my efforts, anyway. I'll take it as such. Thanks!

Missing you is so hard, honey. Really hard.

Love you Dazzy. Always.

Kisses, Wifey.

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