BOOKED!

Dear Dazzy,

Well, finally, I have settled my itinerary for Oz -
I arrive in Tullemarine on June 12, and back in DFW on July 1st.

Wow. The arrival date is the same on I had when we were getting married in 02-what a fun plane trip that was, knowing YOU were the prize at the end of the ride, babe. I carried my dress, and chatted up anyone who wanted to know about my Aussie hubby-to-be.

Now I have the whole trip to think about us again, only this time-well, this time "THE END" shows up at a much too early point in our fairy tale love story.

Damn.

I know I will be incredibly sad for more than a few days-just hoping that the funk will wear off in time for me to enjoy Oz a bit without you being there in the flesh-I know you will be with me in my heart, honey, but I have never done Oz without the promise of you and your love, your warmth, your "I'll take care of us" attitude...not sure how this will play out. I am ctying as I type tonight, hoping this sadness will pass.

Some friends are hi-fiving me like it's this fabby trip I have planned-and I just shake my head and think they STILL don't have a clue. They won't ever get one, either, until some horrible twist of fate stops by their doorstep one night and brings the Armageddon of change to their lives.

I do not ever wish this pain on anyone. Ever.
Not even on my Ex- and for people who know me, that's really saying something.

I am going to Australia to visit our friends and family and to sort out your stuff that's still over there. Paintings come home with me, as do wedding pressies and pictures. We will donate clothing and whatnot; the lawyers will sort out the house title and the chips to that will fall where they may.

Honey, I know you are NOT happy about your brother taking advantage of our situation, but it will work out in the end. I am sure of it.

I will call your Mum and Andrew and etc soon and send them all my details and set up a calendar of things to keep me busy/happy/etc for my three weeks abroad.

I am hoping to meet up with some MatesUpOver people and some widows from the widow board I frequent. I know that Dragan and Mel and Kath and Trish , etc will be around here and there so it will be fun on one level to see everyone-but I will be the one to make them all cry as well. You get to be the elephant in the room-the VIP.

Just like you, eh, babe, to be the center of attention, even in your passing, LOL
This will be quite the trip-emotionally more than anything else. Oh how I wish you were still here nad we were going together...

That flood of memories is threatening to spill over the dam of emotion from when I first visited you at the lil house in Box Hill North-I KNEW when I walked in with you that this would be OUR home in years to come, that we would be so happy there...

It's where we got engaged that June, in 2001; it's where we had our first dinner party thingy; it's where love had come to live within our hearts.

I believed it would be forever.
In a way it is-we will always be married, even if one of us is not physically here anymore.

Here's to a trip filled with memories that sustain me, and the kids, and all those who love you still, my handsome hunk-o-spunk-here's to love that truly lasts forever-the love you gave us all.

Love you Dazzy. Always.
Kisses, Wifey.