Mother's Day

Dear Dazzy,

In Oz, Mum's day has already come and gone; I called your Mum and we talked a bit late last night. We were both missing you, as we do. I told her how hard it is to get up on Mother's day and know there will be no card, no pressie, no flowers from you-the kids will make up for it, of course, but there will always be that "Dazzy" space that one will will ever be able to fill.

I DID hear lost of music thought yesterday that was very meaningful to both of us-and honestly when Men at Work's "Downunder" came on in the Home Depot, I thought RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT, it was almost like you were with me saying you liked the mulch I picked out, LOL

Then at the grocery store the signs continue with "And I miss you...like the desert needs the rain" and then Sting's "Every breath you take" and...well I got it babe! But I swear I am going to sabotage the sound system in the Kroger the next time I go, LOL

So today I am making Mahi-Mahi and grilled veggies and some kind of lemon cake w/strawberries; the kids wanted to take me out but since I have no one to cook for/with most of the time I am going to do the work today, LOL

I really am looking forward to having them around this summer-when we are all here, LOL, we will be more like ships in the night, but that's fine too-it's their last year of college, and after next summer who knows where everyone will be living/partying/enjoying life!

I love everything about bing a Mom that one can love-I could skip the worrying part, LOL, but to see the fuition of all our hard work-mine early on, yours in their teen years-well, its just magical. I have great hopes and wonderful promise for those twins, honey.
I know you are proud of the way they do thingns, and especially happy with the way they help take care of me! What great adults they are shaping up to be...

I will be looking at school teaching in Oz when I take my trip in June; if they have a teacher exchange program it might work out for me to stay a whole year-wouldn't that be cool?
I'd rent out the TX house and go live with your brother! HAHAHA wouldn't he just LOVE that one...:P But then I could get to see Oz in all her year round glory-something I thought we would do when we retired there. In the future. Our future...and sadly, we know that has all changed now.

Today will be what it is-a beautiful TX spring day with the company of our wonderful kids( OURS, honey, just like you always called 'em)and Putt-Putt golf and a movie, silly stuff we all like to do, and a nice meal eaten together. I am grateful for days like these, and even though I miss you like crazy, we will still all have a good time.

Quite a change from a year ago, when all I did was lie on the couch, cry my eyes out, and tell the kids I didn't want any presents or cake. Kids-they never listen, LOL
Those mile-wide gashes on my heart and soul must be healing over.
Last year I wasn't so sure they would- so I will take my observations as progress.

Heaps to do this week-only two more sections of fence to paint, woohoo!
Then I want to really finish around the garden path with the flagstone, etc. I never thought I could do all this by myself-but like the cliche goes:

"How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time, :P"

So I have been dining on Elephant outside landscape wise and I know I can really make a dent in what I /we wanted to do out there. Pictures at 11...

Speaking of Mums/Moms, you know that my mom has been gone ten years next week-where does time go, babe? Her touch and the scent of her White Shoulders perfume and her kind ways live in me still. Have a cuppa with her today, she'd like that. :)

Your ways will live with me as well, honey, all the rest of my life-for "to live on in the hearts of others is not to die." I am proud to be the one that gets to tell your story, and Mom's too.

(Since I dont have pix of her for ten years now, I will have to scan a bunch of what I do have for that May 22 date.)

Too bad I have to do it all alone.

Love you, Dazzy. Always.
Kisses, Wifey.