Tuesday, July 29, 2008
My Secret Ring
Hi honey-I don't have to tell you how busy I have been lately, haven't be posting etc with all the commotion-Mikey is home from Italy with 800(!) pics to peruse through; Ash is performing this weekend and she and Chris were here to see Mikey, along with Mike's friends, so it was Pizza all around on Saturday-and a house full of people! You'd have loved it...
I also went to the movies with Marylou, cleaned out all the household closets/cabinets etc etc, and even did a bit of your closet today-I donated all your jeans(it's back to school here soon) and jean jackets.
That was all I could part with for now-but it was a good feeling to do a small bit.
I put away more of the things I came home with of ours as well-cards, wedding mementos, CDs etc-I am on a roll!
The best news is that I got our rings back from the jewelers-and now your wedding band, my wedding band and my beautiful diamond solitaire are all intertwined to combine into one ring! It's sized for my RIGHT hand, and I can wear it everyday without the sadness that wearing all three of the other rings brought lately.
I always loved our wedding bands; full circles of pure polished gold, the symbol of our eternal love for one another. We never went without them. The last thing I did before they took you from me was I demanded your wedding band.
The EMT's were a bit hesitant, but I did not want them cutting it off later or losing it or anything else. Funny how I remember thinking, "I need his ring!" in the midst of that hellish scene, but shock stands in for logic during times like that, and I'm kind of glad it did-for now, when I look at my new/old ring, I know both our rings are really intertwined forever.
Like our love, our souls-the essence of who we are.
I call it my "secret" ring as well-no one will think its a wedding set. I will always know, but the outside world will not be looking at my left hand and assuming things anymore. It really hit home when I went to OZ, I wore all three rings, and it felt like I was wishing, or pretending, just not being truthful-with myself.
Everyone else can sod off for all I care, I would have worn my rings until the end of time if it had made ME happy-but after about a year, they just didn't. They made me sad, and made me miss what we had-a loving marriage-all the more.
So now I have a secret ring, I adore the way it turned out, and I will be wearing it every single day with a smile and a tiny-dare I say it-bit of hope for what is to still come in the next chapter of my life.
No matter what, my Dazzy boy, you will be along for the ride-as evidenced on the third finger of my RIGHT hand, through that two-carat sparkler that you were so happy to give me.
You will always be my Prince. I will always be your Princess ( LOL-you know just what I mean, too, eh babe?)and now I have my jewels back again to prove it!
More updates later this week-Kath comes tomorrow for a visit, and you know how much fun that will be!
Love you, Dazzy. Always.