All Hallow's Eve

Dear Dazzy,

It's Halloween!

One of your favorite days of the entire year.
You would put up a ton of decorations, and dress up to the nines in your costume-always spending too much on the perfect get-up, wig, makeup, etc whatever was needed to make it "real."

They year you left us, I couldn't bear to decorate. The house sat silently, bleak and dark-exactly like my emotions. I hung a black mourning wreath and let it go at that. No candy to pass out, no fog machine in the kettle, no garish black light shining in the faces of would be pirates, Jedi knights, princesses or whathaveyou.

Nothing.

This year it's a bit different. I put up your prized halloween decoration-Homer Simpson-the 12 foot tall blowup monster Homie, LOL. It was the first thing you bought over here for Halloween, and it's so you, honey, that it felt good to put him up again. It almost felt like maybe you would once again be in the bathroom tonight, putting the finishing touches on your oh-so-cool-costume before we went out to a party or hosted one ourselves...

Instead, I walked around with a friend and her third grade daughter-she wore a princess fairy costume-and we traveled all over the place. We went on lots of streets that you and I used to walk on every night, babe-all by the golf course.

As we strolled through the perfect nighttime weather-70 degrees on Halloween is not a shocker here at all, but we have not had good weather like this on a holiday in quite a while-we all saw a shooting star! It was massive and lasted a good "one Mississippi, two..."

I take it you were winking at us,LOL, happy that Mikey was in town, happy that I had put out some decorations, happy that Ash was off at a party with friends.
Happy with our lil family unit-TEAM DAZ-that we are able to go into the holiday mode just a tad and not have a meltdown over the oh-so-large absence of you.

I have so many fun memories of this holiday-when the kids were little, and trick-or-treating was an Olympic event, when I made costumes for the twins that matched and made ghost cookies and decorated fun, not spooky, so the kids would not be scared, lol!

Then there were the years you and I spent together; the year you threw a party for the kids and their friends-host of the year that you are :) The year you dressed up as ME-complete with my PISD badge and a great blond wig, and I was a car salesman that wound up looking freakishly like Tom Cruise-EEEEEEK!

The best was we took that look and went to the high school football homecoming game!OMG I still don't know how you found the chutzpah to pull that on off, babe, but it was a classic.

I loved doing Halloween with you-seeing it through the eyes of someone who didn't get to celebrate it as a kid, well, it was magical. Thanks, honey. You always did rock, ya know?

So it's all over for another year, and next week is our anniversary of sorts-Nov 3, the first day we ever connected via the net-then Derek's b-day on the 9th, and soon after Thanksgiving and then X-mas will arrive and before we know it YIKES! Another new year-2009!

I'll just take it one day at a time, thanks.
Today?
Well, today was OK. Missed you heaps, but could find more fun memories than tears. That's a good thing in my world, honey.
A very good thing.

Happy Halloween, Dazzles.

Love you Dazzy. Always.
Kisses, Wifey.