Sunday, April 19, 2009


Two years.

Its the blink of an eye and the longest lifetime all at once.

I cannot write much more that I haven't already said these past two years-

I love you. I miss you. You will always have my heart...always.

Heres what Dean Koontz wrote about loss:\

“Loss is the hardest thing….But it’s also the teacher that’s the most difficult to ignore.

Grief can destroy you – or focus you.

You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone.

Or you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn’t allow yourself to consider the sacredness if it.

But when it is over and you are alone, you begin to see it wasn’t just a movie and a dinner together, no just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill.

It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it.

The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can’t get off your knees for a long time, you’re driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by the gratitude of what preceded the loss.

And the ache is always there, but one day, not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life.” -- Dean Koontz

I am not dwelling in maudlin sadness tonight; I am dwelling in possibilities and hopefulness and the realization that I can have something that resembles " This Amazing Life" once again.

Thanks again , honey-for you and your love. You rock!

Love You Dazzy.
Kisses, Wifey

1 comment:

Sari said...

2 years is such a weird concept. My own 2 years is coming up soon. How did that happen? I am glad to read in your earlier post that you believe you are going to be OK. In spite of all that we have been through on this journey, it's nice to have that feeling. (((HUG)))